The Hardest Break-Up: Leaving a Gym

We wish it were all a smooth ride, and that where you started is where you will stay forever. But more often than not, this is not the majority of cases.



Truth is that life happens. You move cities, you get a new job with a totally different schedule, disagreements arise, or the gym you were at doesn’t provide what you’re looking for, simple as that. However, it’s never that easy to explain is it?


Feelings get involved, people get their feelings hurt, where you see opportunity some see betrayal, and then the term “creonte” arises. The term creonte refers to a former student who is perceived to be disloyal, particularly one who had a long-standing and well-invested relationship with their academy. There’s always two sides to every story and they usually never match. Bottom line is, if your “friends” were only limited to the patch you wear, then they were never really friends to begin with.


One of the biggest reasons why people switch gyms, other than moving to a different place, happens when people start to get serious about competition. Not all schools are competition driven, and for someone who wants to focus on their competitive career, this might be seen as a setback. Let me make it clear that anyone can shine no matter where you come from, and the grass is always greener where you water it, but even plants won’t bloom if it’s in the wrong soil.


Another reason, one that is particularly true with females, is lack of training partners. Let’s be honest, being a girl in this sport is hard enough without adding being the only girl at your gym, or having uneducated training partners that are hurting you more often than they are helping you. While some academies and professors do a marvelous job of educating their students on how to train with females, it’s still a prevalent issue that continues in some academies.


If we want to look at it from a business perspective, you might want to remember that you signed up to learn a martial art. In other words, you paid the owner to provide you with a specific service. If the quality of service is not what you needed or were looking for, in any other aspect of life, you would take your business elsewhere. Same applies here.


And the final reason I will provide will touch more of the social/personal aspect of this experience… different points of views. We’re human, and as much as we want world peace, it’s impossible for everyone to get along ALL THE TIME. If you and the people there, or the professor himself, don’t see eye to eye, perhaps it’s best to avoid creating a negative atmosphere. Otherwise, what should be fun and enjoyable, will become a drag and turn into a toxic environment you just didn’t sign up for.


Essentially what this is, is a break-up. And what I can recollect from my dating life, break-ups are just never easy. You can rip the band-aid in one giant but painful move, or you can hold a civil conversation and get some closure. It may end in good terms, or it may not. You may burn bridges, or you may stay friends. As long as you keep in mind what is best for you, you will be likely to find an academy that will suit your needs.

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